When we did our assignment a few weeks ago of writing a letter to the editor of any publication we chose, I enjoyed it. I picked a topic that fired me up and went with it. Matt had told us to not spend more than an hour or so writing our letter. So, I wrote my letter to the Chronicle of Higher Education and hit send. Cross that off the to-do list.
On Friday of this past week I got an email from someone at the Chronicle saying that my letter was in the queue to be posted online. It posted this morning.
The miracle part has happened since then.
Let me share some background that I am an active attendee of Highlands Church in Denver which is an evangelical church that is welcoming and celebratory of the GLBT community. The fact that there exists an evangelical church that is GLBT affirming is a miracle in itself. So much so that it has been featured on CNN and ABCnews. (yes, if you watch those videos, that is what my pastor's hair looks like, he jokes about it a lot...)
As someone who grew up in a very conservative evangelical church, I was always taught very legalistic rules about what it meant to be a good Christian. The issue that hurt me most was the expectations of women in the church with which I vehemently disagreed. By the time I hit my mid twenties, I was done. I was damaged and angry, wondering why the God that I believed in would allow such damage to be caused in his name. This sentiment was echoed by my GLBT friends who felt wounded by the church that told them that in God’s eyes they were an “abomination.”
Highlands Church has been a healing place for me in the last few years. It is the first church I have ever gone to where I feel as though I could bring anyone with me. Recently one of my atheist friends came, just to check it out. It’s the kind of church where that’s cool. “Take it or leave it man, we’re glad you stopped in….”
So, fast forward to this weekend where my church was celebrating it’s third annual Symposium on Homosexuality and the Evangelical Church. The main speaker at this event was Chely Wright who came out in 2010 and is the first major country star to do so. Since I had this class this weekend, I was unable to participate in the actual symposium but was part of a few peripheral things. The whole day I was thinking about the symposium, wishing I could be there, hoping it was going well. By the evening I went with a friend to a gathering of symposium participants just to talk with people and hear their stories and find out how the day went. This is when it gets a little crazy…
I was pretty excited to be published in the Chronicle, I’m not gonna lie. So, I posted it on my facebook page and sent the link to a bunch of random friends. One of the people who received my email was Sue, who showed up to the party tonight wearing a University of North Carolina sweatshirt. (let me interject here that if you haven’t read the letter yet, these coincidences won’t make sense). She sees me when she walks in and gives me a high five for my letter and then I don’t see her for an hour or so. Crowded party. She runs into me later with eyes wide. “Did you meet that guy yet?” (pointing to a guy named Ben*, who I had, indeed met because he is from Minnesota, and Minnesotans always find each other in a crowd). “yes” I said. Then she said “Did he tell you he was in Psalm 100?!”
Seriously.
So, I start up another conversation with him and he tells me he was in the group Psalm 100 at the University of North Carolina (which is why he started talking to Sue with the Tarheel sweatshirt). He graduated out of the group 2 years ago as a gay male, but he was still closeted when he was a part of the group. He asked me if I was the person Sue had told him about who had written the letter. I told him I was and I let him read the post from my phone.
By the time he finished reading, he was crying and he hugged me for a long time. He told me some of the emotional trauma that had occurred for him when this decision was made. He knows the guy who was kicked out of the group. And Ben and his friends who are active and supportive alumni have been similarly ousted from any alumni involvement. His experience and connection to the group was like family and he feels disowned and unsupported.
At the risk of getting too spiritual on any of you, I am moved by how God works through little things. This assignment was another task for me to get done and I did it, not expecting on any level that it would get published. Then, it does get published on the weekend that my church is doing its Symposium. Then I share it with Sue, who is wearing a Tarheel sweatshirt who randomly talks to Ben, who meets me at the same party after he and his friends drove 16 hours from Minneapolis to be there.
coincidences? maybe...
As a straight ally, I am learning more and more how important my voice is when speaking for my friends in the church, (and everywhere else!). I feel as though the social justice issue I am most well placed to profess is how the church has damaged the GLBT community. I don’t believe God wants any of his people to be so mistreated. To repair that damage, I can only do what I can do, I am merely a person whose most important job is to love her neighbor. And it turns out, my completion of this assignment helped me show love and support to a neighbor I hadn’t met yet.
In a broader, higher education lens, I was reminded of how any interaction with my students at work can carry a large impact even if it is something I am treating as a quick, distracted conversation. What I say matters. What I write matters. I need to keep reminding myself of that. I also need to remember that all of the pieces of my life interconnect. My faith is always part of what I do, and my love of higher education is always part of what I do.
What I am humbled by and will carry with me for a long time is Ben’s voice simply saying “thank you for caring.”
And Matt, I am thankful for the assignment. :)
*not his real name, just in case
Meloni, thank you for your post. I am so excited that you were able to get your letter posted. I had never really thought of writing to the editor before this assignment, but now I think of the process a little differently. The entire assignment has me inspired to write to the editor more often.
ReplyDeleteBetween your article post and the conversations we have had, I think you have a perspective on religion that I truly respect. You have actually taught me a great deal of information in a very short time. It is refreshing to hear someone talk about religion passionately, while also respecting others and their differences. Thank you.
I am a little concerned about the information we received during class. While it should not be that surprising, I struggle with the fact that an employer would not want their employees to participate or have a voice. I do see where there could be some issues, but perhaps instead of banning it, they could have a review process and look at what their employees are writing. It goes back to the conversation we had in class about having a conversation rather than banning everything.
Meloni - your post did actually make me tear up. I appreciate your openness in and your willingness to be an ally. I think this is what makes our profession uniquely suited in the discourse about social justice - or lets face it humanity. Helping students think critically and reflectively about themselves and the world/people around them is what really draws me to this field.
ReplyDeleteI believe there is some interesting research about the role of religion and spirituality in higher education. I'm not very familiar with that research but remember a friend leaving for a graudate school program at Univeristy of Michigan was intrigued with how religion/spirituality shape our students experiences in higher education - she has done some work in that realm. While many other diversity issues have begun to become more prevalent religion still seems to something many of us hesitate to talk about. And, I don't necessarily think that one has to be religious or spiritual to play an advocacy or ally role to students who are. Thanks for being an advocate.
First of all, kudos to Meloni for having her letter published, and more importantly, for serving as an important ally to the GLBT community! Your story from Saturday is really special.
ReplyDeleteTo piggyback off Libby's comments-- I attended a session at NASPA on a social justice training program (actually, I believe that our very own Beau was involved in the development of it). At the start of the session we were asked to reflect on a few questions and then to share our responses with a partner. The question was re. the social identity that was most often forgotten on our campus. My partner and I (who work at different institutions across the state and who had never met one another until this conference) and I both identified religion as the social identity that we least often acknowledge, discuss, or even consider. We then continued a side conversation through most of the session (... we were quiet though...:) about the various intersections of religion and other identities. We chatted about gender, race, sexual orientation, and even ability-- and the many ways that religion can intersect, and at times conflict with, values and norms of various social identities. In any case, it was certainly a good start, and your letter and subsequent story remind me that there's a tremendous amount of work still to be done. Let this serve as a reminder to us all that we need to be aware of the ways in which religious affiliation and beliefs are impacting students on our campuses in diverse ways.
Boy, in one blog article Meloni takes on TWO taboo subjects (religion and GLBT students and concerns)...and does a masterful job of relating the two to her own powerful experience in a way that supports and uplifts both subjects. Powerful.
ReplyDeleteIt has always seemed to me from my undergrad days that the more we try to squelch meaningful discussion of the most polarizing topics within our higher education classrooms (religion/spirituality, politics, race, gender, sexual orientation, disability, etc.) the more polarizing and extreme discussions of these topics become outside of class and campus. If the thoughtful scholar-teachers-facilitators of our higher educational institutions abdicate their responsibility to lead/guide/support thought-provoking discussions regarding the subjects that ultimately mean the most to us -why we exist, what we ought to believe in, how we should behave, how we should treat others, etc, then we risk leaving this precious privilege and responsibility to the demagogues among us.
I remember one idyllic year when my undergrad college roommates at U.C. Davis consisted of: An Orthodox Jew; An Orthodox Catholic; an Evangelical Christian; an ecumenical "Spiritualist" open to all religions/faiths. Well, I was the spiritualist. And while my roomies and I rarely openly discussed our beliefs, we allowed plenty of room for each other to celebrate/question theirs. Meanwhile, as we were all runners on the cross-country and track teams, we would fly out the door of our apartment and commune together in a pursuit we all collectively enjoyed-running. By the end of our college days and shortly after, we all ended up participating in each other's weddings, and celebrating each other's career successes. All while also deeply respecting each other's informing and enlivening faiths. It was a rich learning experience for me, and one that my University had absolutely nothing to do with. How rich the entire University might have been for so many other students, I thought at the time, if such an experience as my roomies and I shared could have been replicated in some way in broader, somewhat more intentional ways..